Being cheated on is honestly one of the worst feelings a man or woman can go through! It’s that feeling of self-doubt. “Was I not good enough?”. That feeling of betrayal. “I thought he/she loved me” That feeling of complete shock. “I just never thought he/she would do that”. That deep hurt you can’t seem to explain. It just swallows you up. It simply sucks! What most people fail to understand is that it isn’t the initial hurt that gets to you. It is the picking yourself up afterwards, trying to move forward, trying to not let the pain from the past effect any future relationships. Here is some advice to help you get through this phase
Accept the Situation
This is one of the hardest parts, but so important for moving on. Even if you don’t agree with it and all you want to do is scream, you need to accept the situation. No one can change it and even if you could, would you really want to? Knowing that they were capable of cheating in the first place. As much as it is difficult and you’re hurting inside, it is important to understand that what happened was for a reason. Yes, this reason isn’t going to be apparent straight away, it will take time for the reason to shine through. You may struggle to believe this right now because the love for them is still there, that is perfectly normal, and it doesn’t go away overnight. Acknowledge that it was not your fault. No action is justified through infidelity!
Acknowledge Your Feelings
Acknowledging your feelings is healing! Regularly take time to sit down and register the whirlwind of emotions going through your head. Understanding your emotions in the moment are crucial to soothing the pain! It allows for each feeling to be dealt with as an individual obstacle rather than be overloaded with them all at once. When you think about it, all the negative feelings you are experiencing aren’t naturally yours, they were inflicted onto you by another person. So regain that control over how you feel and reclaim your emotions! As tempting as it is to fire that passive aggressive text with lines you know will get under their skin; DON’T! Be the bigger person, take out your aggression in the gym not through a text.
Think About What You Want
The most important person in this situation is YOU! Don’t lose your sense of self love and forget to take care of yourself. Eat your favourite foods, watch your favourite movies or indulge in your favourite activities. Now that you are a free man/woman, do things that make you who you are. Pick up a new hobby, read a new book, take an art class or join a sport. It’s important to keep yourself occupied the first few weeks. When it comes down to that dreaded conversation about the future of your relationship, always choose yourself and do what is right for you. This means to listen to yourself and don’t make the decision out of fear; for example don’t stay with them because you are afraid to be single or you don’t want to hurt their feelings, do it for yourself. They were not concerned about your feelings at the time of the infidelity. It’s your turn now to make the decisions now, and its checkmate!
Reach Out to Your Loved Ones
Stop trying to stalk them! Put down that phone and take a break from social media. It’s in your best interest. You need to spend this time with your closest friends and family. Focus on people who’ve always had your back and who’ll listen to the full story and not judge the next steps so you are free from criticism or forced opinions to cloud your judgement.
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